A Leap Of Faith. Blind Faith.
I've taken some leaps before in my life but there has never been a leap quite like this.
It's the hardest thing for me...not to know how something will happen. And when exactly it will happen. To have very little control. The only thing I CAN control is my Faith and how big that is. Honestly I still go back and forth. I don't go back and forth about the Love for my child. Or the fact that I know she is coming home. I loved Daisy the moment I saw her, a full year before I even knew she was my child and I would bring her home to us.
No...I go back and forth about the money. Will it all find it's way to me? One day I panic. I cry. Like the kind of ugly gutteral ( is that a word?) sobbing. It just happens and once it starts there is just no stopping it. I repeat my argument with God. The same argument I had when he first revealed I would be going back to China. 35,000 dollars. Really? That is a years wage for many.
Then the next day I am full of Faith and Confidence. I had a sobbing day just recently and then last night a beautiful woman threw me a Party to help me Fundraise for Daisy.
Daisy's 1st Party. It is called Pampered Chef and sells all kinds of amazing kitchen gadgets. She just did it for me. I never met her. She is so full of Love. I had never done anything like this Party and I was a bit nervous that I wouldn't do a good job...not that I even really understood what I should do but she made it so easy. I had the time of my life and realized I am a bit competitive when we were playing games on there! Who knew?
Another beautiful woman launched another Fundraiser for me selling Candles and other household items. Yep...never met her either. She just wanted to help me and she is so full of Love. Yet another launched a Tupperware Fundraiser for me. I felt so lifted and so cared for. So cared about. I don't know if any one of these Beauties know just how much it means to me to have their support.
All of a sudden I felt like I could do it. Like I could reach this huge goal. I didn't feel so alone and I knew there were people out there that wanted to see my Daisy come home as much as I did.
I feel the same way every time I get a donation. Sometimes they come from where I least expect them because I know these people don't have very much 'extra' money but here they are, donating what they can. They also believe that every little bit helps because it adds up. Every bit helps as much as the next. It brings me to my knees every time.
All my life I have been so independent. I can do it all and I can do it all by myself. I will come to you if you need anything and I will do whatever I can to help you. I will do it for you, buy it for you and I'll even send you a check. Nothing has ever given me more pleasure, aside from my children, than being able to give. To perform random acts of kindness as many as I can and as often as I can.
I have gotten different reactions from people regarding this part of my personality.
Honestly most people think I have an ulterior motive. But not the one that I have which is completely selfish in that I get the biggest 'high' from doing these things and it seriously makes me SO happy. It's addicting! No...they seem to think I want something. I don't. Well I do. I want that feeling of joy and happiness that I get. But nothing else. It always confuses me why people would think that is so strange. Don't we all keep doing what we are addicted to? That's what addiction is!
Yeah...it is HARD for me to ask for help. UGH
But I have to admit I have also always liked a challenge. And the unknown to an extent.
It is SO exciting to witness how God is slowly but surely making this happen.
Please know how much your Love and Support means to me!! To me AND my kids.
As a single mom it can be a bit challenging sometimes but your Love and Support and especially your Prayers makes ALL the difference in this Amazing Journey to Daisy!!!
Thank you ALL with ALL of my Heart!!!
I've taken some leaps before in my life but there has never been a leap quite like this.
It's the hardest thing for me...not to know how something will happen. And when exactly it will happen. To have very little control. The only thing I CAN control is my Faith and how big that is. Honestly I still go back and forth. I don't go back and forth about the Love for my child. Or the fact that I know she is coming home. I loved Daisy the moment I saw her, a full year before I even knew she was my child and I would bring her home to us.
No...I go back and forth about the money. Will it all find it's way to me? One day I panic. I cry. Like the kind of ugly gutteral ( is that a word?) sobbing. It just happens and once it starts there is just no stopping it. I repeat my argument with God. The same argument I had when he first revealed I would be going back to China. 35,000 dollars. Really? That is a years wage for many.
Then the next day I am full of Faith and Confidence. I had a sobbing day just recently and then last night a beautiful woman threw me a Party to help me Fundraise for Daisy.
Daisy's 1st Party. It is called Pampered Chef and sells all kinds of amazing kitchen gadgets. She just did it for me. I never met her. She is so full of Love. I had never done anything like this Party and I was a bit nervous that I wouldn't do a good job...not that I even really understood what I should do but she made it so easy. I had the time of my life and realized I am a bit competitive when we were playing games on there! Who knew?
Another beautiful woman launched another Fundraiser for me selling Candles and other household items. Yep...never met her either. She just wanted to help me and she is so full of Love. Yet another launched a Tupperware Fundraiser for me. I felt so lifted and so cared for. So cared about. I don't know if any one of these Beauties know just how much it means to me to have their support.
All of a sudden I felt like I could do it. Like I could reach this huge goal. I didn't feel so alone and I knew there were people out there that wanted to see my Daisy come home as much as I did.
I feel the same way every time I get a donation. Sometimes they come from where I least expect them because I know these people don't have very much 'extra' money but here they are, donating what they can. They also believe that every little bit helps because it adds up. Every bit helps as much as the next. It brings me to my knees every time.
All my life I have been so independent. I can do it all and I can do it all by myself. I will come to you if you need anything and I will do whatever I can to help you. I will do it for you, buy it for you and I'll even send you a check. Nothing has ever given me more pleasure, aside from my children, than being able to give. To perform random acts of kindness as many as I can and as often as I can.
I have gotten different reactions from people regarding this part of my personality.
Honestly most people think I have an ulterior motive. But not the one that I have which is completely selfish in that I get the biggest 'high' from doing these things and it seriously makes me SO happy. It's addicting! No...they seem to think I want something. I don't. Well I do. I want that feeling of joy and happiness that I get. But nothing else. It always confuses me why people would think that is so strange. Don't we all keep doing what we are addicted to? That's what addiction is!
Yeah...it is HARD for me to ask for help. UGH
But I have to admit I have also always liked a challenge. And the unknown to an extent.
It is SO exciting to witness how God is slowly but surely making this happen.
Please know how much your Love and Support means to me!! To me AND my kids.
As a single mom it can be a bit challenging sometimes but your Love and Support and especially your Prayers makes ALL the difference in this Amazing Journey to Daisy!!!
Thank you ALL with ALL of my Heart!!!
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